Do You Used To Say ‘But’ Or ‘No’ In Conversation?

In this speech, we will investigate some interesting personal behaviors in discussion or in meeting. In a product research project, we often take part in some discussions with teammates for consensus to tackle crucial problem.

At first, let me present three scenarios with which you may feel familiar.
In the 1st scenario, you mentioned an advice about the problem that need to be solved in the meeting, and you prepare to appreciate other teammate’s advices about the problem or commentaries about your advice. Dramatically, you heard a ‘But’ or ‘No’ said by your mate. It’s the first word at the beginning of his speaking. To some extent, you feel unhappy for negative expression of the successive speaker, although you have prepared to adopt it. An impulse to defend your advice emerges. Several suits of counter plans are being conceived in company with the ‘rival’ introducing his advice or commentary. What will, you imagine, happen later?

Let us investigate the 2nd scenario out from the 1st scenario. You have been listened for a long time, your brain sparkles again and again and some great ideas come into being. Only a chance of speaking you need and hope the speaker finish his tedious preachment. While speaker having finished, the word ‘No’ or ‘But’ comes out from mouth. And you continue to present your great ideas unselfconsciously. Would you perceive there is a bitter dispute subsequently?

It’s the turn that we investigate the 3rd scenario. You are cautious and peaceful. Moreover you are smarter. You have been audience of the dispute for a long time. You are confused that there are no too much differences of the viewpoint held by the both side of dispute in nature. However, there are great difference in literature, different expression, different explanatory manner and different literal term. If you loss your patience, how do you jump in the dispute? Would you say ‘But’ or ‘No’, which is the first word in order to chime in the dispute. If you did, the dispute would become a chaos, no consensus and long-playing dispute.

Generally, Saying ‘But’ or ‘No’ at beginning of speaking does not mean negativeness at all, but it is just an interjection word to say ‘hi, I have something to complement it’ or other similar expressions. Although the defensiveness is necessary in conversation, the behavior of those makes irrational defensiveness, which would result in self-sealing processes and misunderstanding. The irrational defensiveness restrains the innovation and consensus in teamwork obviously. Shown by several informal behavior experiments, resisting saying ‘But’ or ‘No’ would keep the rhythm of discussion, make conversation more logical and substantial. The cause of personal defensiveness and the relations between personal defensivenesss and saying ‘But’ or ‘No’ are still not clear. Fortunately, A more formal, systematic and scientific behavior experiment is going to be prepared for.

based on my presentation